lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
