glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
