you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
