Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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