SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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