that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
