Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
