i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
