I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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