Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
