goodnight i made you a song goodbye
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
