we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
