return my video game
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize