The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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