I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
