I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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