I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I faked an abortion last night.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
