idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
