apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
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