in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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