please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
