Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
