Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
