i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
