this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
