8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
