so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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