That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
