So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
