yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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