Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
