I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
