I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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