I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Can you bring me the toilet please
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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