He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
