How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
