i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize