They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
