that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
