i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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