I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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