somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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