i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
