i permit you to call me
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
