I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
