Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize