k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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