I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
