Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
