Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Can you bring me the toilet please
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
