i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
