First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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