if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
