Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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