there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
