its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize