She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize