Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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