Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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