Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
