i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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