Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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