the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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