wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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