When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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