I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
