My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
