Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
