I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize