Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
