ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
